You've reached Wesley Wyndam-Pryce, former Watcher's Academy scholar currently matriculating at Fandom High. Please leave a message and I'll return your call with the greatest expedience.
"While I know you're still not an animal, I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile. Are you too busy running around without your shirt to come say hello to an old friend?"
Sorry Wesley, that had been meant for Jacob, his roommate. The phones were, unfortunately, haywire.
[from here (http://magdaofslovenia.livejournal.com/555.html?thread=167723#t167723)]
"Darling, you sounded so upset on your message. I'm less worried about the Post-Its than the death and blood splatters... do call back, will you? I'd be happy to have a late Christmas celebration with you. Ta."
"I don't care that you don't drink beer - personally I think it's horrid stuff - and I'm rather sure you'd be incapable of stealing my sweaters. Besides, you don't have the chest for them."
"What? Wait, I'm sorry if I said something about your great-grandmother. I'm sure she's a really, really nice lady. But I really don't think I'd say something like that while trying to... uh... come on to you?"
"So you think I'm hot, your voice sounds hot, you want to go out for pizza ... but you're both gay and taken? God, you'd make a lesser girl want to slit her wrists.
"Wesley, it's Katniss. Um. I've...had to go home to Panem, for a little bit. I'm not entirely sure when I'll be back, but I'll be sure to get word to you if it's longer than a week. Everything's fine, they just need me for some mentor stuff. Take care."
"Wesley! Wesley, I can't remember something, and it's really, really important. Were the zebras the ones running the ballet school, or was that the crocodiles?I need to know for... for... research."
RESEARCH.
"An' if a mailman tries to deliver a crate to you with a live ostrich in it, just don't sign for it, okay? 'M pretty sure they'll take it back if you don't sign for it!"
After week of his crew disappearing and... buildings and the skyline changing over LA, Gunn had enough. Everyone thought he was crazy. Only he could see it or remember the people who were in his crew.
Finally Gunn was desperate enough to make a phone call.
"Yo. English. Remember me? I'm the guy who used to take out the graveyard at that crazy-ass boarding school of yours? Charles Gunn."
There was a small pause before he started talking again. There was a trace of desperation in his voice.
"Something strange is going on here, man. My crew is disappearing one by one. Demons who have been holding bits of turf all over the city are just gone with the freaking wind. Hell, even that evil law firm has pulled out of town. I... I don't suppose you and your Watchers have some giant book about this someplace? My crew... my family is just disappearing man."
There was a long sigh and a moment of silence before he said anything else.
"Clearly I'm desperate if I'm calling you after all this time. If you know anything, you got my number. Right. Anyway. I gotta bail. Looks like some kind of weird storm is heading our way."
Any attempt to call Gunn back? Would get a disconnected error.
"Wesley? Wesley I have learned a very important lesson about being able to fly and pretending to be Platinum Guy and not actually having a suit of armor. Wesley? Never ever let me do it, okay? Friends don't let friends attempt to fly at mach four while drunk."
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Phone Insanity
Sorry Wesley, that had been meant for Jacob, his roommate. The phones were, unfortunately, haywire.
Re: Phone Insanity
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"Darling, you sounded so upset on your message. I'm less worried about the Post-Its than the death and blood splatters... do call back, will you? I'd be happy to have a late Christmas celebration with you. Ta."
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"I don't use drugs, and I'm certainly not dead! Who told you that I was?"
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"I don't care that you don't drink beer - personally I think it's horrid stuff - and I'm rather sure you'd be incapable of stealing my sweaters. Besides, you don't have the chest for them."
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"What? Wait, I'm sorry if I said something about your great-grandmother. I'm sure she's a really, really nice lady. But I really don't think I'd say something like that while trying to... uh... come on to you?"
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Crazy phones
"So you think I'm hot, your voice sounds hot, you want to go out for pizza ... but you're both gay and taken? God, you'd make a lesser girl want to slit her wrists.
If we get pizza, you're paying."
Re: Crazy phones
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"What? Ohmygodwhat? I haven't said anything about your parents! How'd you know I knew about them, anyway? Spooky, I swear . . ."
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LEFT OUTSIDE ROOM DOOR
Note scrawled on the back: May the best people win. - Q
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"...fine. I am finding a shotgun and I am PRACTICING WITHOUT YOU. Just fear that thought. Ha."
*beep*
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"I am not giving up any megaphones or climbing or posters to you, next time. Damnit."
"... you better not be dead in a ditch, Wes."
*beep*
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RESEARCH.
"An' if a mailman tries to deliver a crate to you with a live ostrich in it, just don't sign for it, okay? 'M pretty sure they'll take it back if you don't sign for it!"
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Finally Gunn was desperate enough to make a phone call.
"Yo. English. Remember me? I'm the guy who used to take out the graveyard at that crazy-ass boarding school of yours? Charles Gunn."
There was a small pause before he started talking again. There was a trace of desperation in his voice.
"Something strange is going on here, man. My crew is disappearing one by one. Demons who have been holding bits of turf all over the city are just gone with the freaking wind. Hell, even that evil law firm has pulled out of town. I... I don't suppose you and your Watchers have some giant book about this someplace? My crew... my family is just disappearing man."
There was a long sigh and a moment of silence before he said anything else.
"Clearly I'm desperate if I'm calling you after all this time. If you know anything, you got my number. Right. Anyway. I gotta bail. Looks like some kind of weird storm is heading our way."
Any attempt to call Gunn back? Would get a disconnected error.
Wacky Phones
Once again, Bruce was alerting the authorities with an anonymous tip and a disguised voice to warn of possible crimes going on.
"It seems the bushes outside Pizza Planet are a hotbed for drug deals and public sex. Thought you'd find that interesting."
Re: Wacky Phones
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"...Wow, I am not wearing a corset anytime soon. Did Stephanie put you up to this or something?"
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"Ah... put some ice on it," Wesley advised, wincing a bit. "Whatever 'it' may be. And... see about finding a helmet for, er, next time."
He'd gotten more than one of these messages from Warren in the past. He was fairly sure that there'd be a next time.